Sunday, 15 March 2015

Confessions Of A Trembling Heart




'Gboah!'.
I heard it in my sleep, followed by a shriek of terror. My memory cells recognized it immediately. I jumped up. But before I could leap out of bed, my roommate beckoned me to calm down. 'Shhhh', she motioned with her index finger on her lips. 'Stay where you are', she whispered. I dissolved into some transient peace and I knew this was when all my confessions mattered the most. I had found some scriptures on safety since the last incident and had confessed them most nights. I even confessed one before I slept that night. 'In peace, I will both lie down and sleep because You alone make me dwell in safety'. Did I really believe it? 

Now I had began muttering other confessions. 

No evil shall come near my dwelling place

A thousand shall fall by my right hand, ten thousand by my left, but it shall not come near me

The Lord delivers me from six calamities and from seven no harm will touch me

I will know that my home is secure when I count my possessions and nothing will be missing

The angels of The Lord encompass around those that fear Him


My heart raced at the same pace with the words. My roommate was also muttering some confessions beside me. I refused to imagine the worst. I was so grateful that I wasn't facing it alone this time and I was glad she was even stronger in faith than I was. 


'Gbigigbigi gbigigbigi'
This time they were shaking my burglary bars.
I propped up with a surge of adrenaline. My room mate motioned for a calm again. I felt bad that though I was confessing the word, I was acting like I didn't believe. I continued my confessions, listening intently to the motions outside the house. 


Suddenly there was some silence.

'What were they possibly doing?', I thought

I couldn't even move an inch on the bed so I wouldn't betray our invisibility. As I lay motionless, I remembered my phone and its clangorous ringtone. I reached for it under my pillow and switched it to a silent mode. My roomie did the same with hers. It was about 4am. I was still making my confessions but I was palpitating terribly, not as bad as the last time though. At least I didn't have trembling digits. Surely, the word had worked on me since then. But I hadn't reached perfection in faith yet. I had to pray specially for the peace of God 'cause fear tormented me. In a short while, I got some peace. I stopped muttering and started brooding on those scriptures.

After a while, I felt I needed to hold my roomie's hand. We hadn't prayed together but I knew she was saying the same things with me. I had stopped palpitating by then. So we held hands and I slept off.


©Radiant~ March 2015

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